Divorce and the Gift of Gratitude

Over five years ago, my now ex-husband and I agreed to separate. At the onset of this  decision, it all seemed seamless and easy, but we were two people coming from different places at different stages in our lives.  

The feelings associated with divorce can be similar to those involved with the death of a loved one. It took and takes a great deal of perseverance, patience, clarity, energy, intention, physical health, emotional growth and stamina to move through the divorce and come out at the other end with grace and dignity – for both parties.

My intentions throughout this process were that we would amicably, harmoniously and peacefully resolve all of this for the greatest good of the two of us and our son. At times, this was excruciatingly difficult. 

It is not possible to alter other people so I began with myself. People change only when they choose to. Peace for me was and is finding harmony and balance in all aspects of my life.  

Several life principles kept me going. You may be going through changes in your own life and may find these helpful: 

1. People are put in one’s life for a reason. 
2. Life is all a learning experience, including truly knowing what no longer works for you and/or what you do not wish in your life. 
3. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. People are in your life for you to learn about yourself.  
4. Anger and resentment go along with self-pity and fear: Anger is like taking poison and then expecting the other person to die. Anger only hurts you! 
5. Gratitude. 
6. Forgiveness of self.

There came a turning point when I looked around and said, “I really am going to be all right”. At that moment, the doors opened and life moved on. I chose acceptance, happiness, joy and faith.  

I express a heartfelt thanks and gratitude to my ex-husband for the thousands of hours of love and laughter, the adventures, for the experience of marriage and, above all else, for the gift of our son, Gregory. Our son graduates from high school this month and we - being family forever regardless of divorce - share our son’s accomplishments and hard work and celebrate together as we see him move on to the next part of his life.